Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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