Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
