return my video game
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
