There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she told me i tasted like america
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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