We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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