Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
