We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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