I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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