is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
