She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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