Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
