P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
