He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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