I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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