Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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