so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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