if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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