Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
