how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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