my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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