only you would photoshop your dick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
