You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
