I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Drake has all the answers
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize