so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
not ubering you a puppy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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