I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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