If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
