i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize