I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
