Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
