i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
