My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
