im having a threesome with these popsicles
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
