I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
