Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
