This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
