if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
