Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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