Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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