if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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