Kiss
Puke
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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