Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
