she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
