his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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