Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
