oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Green mimosas i think yes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
