need another drink. this is the easiest way
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
