what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this boner is exhausting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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