At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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