my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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