so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
