Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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