why do cheetos always look like penises
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
