I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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