He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
