p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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